The Last Living Act of Oliver Green

One of my schools most exciting events is Writers Week.  It is a week long celebration of writing in all forms.  Every period for one full week writers perform their work before a packed auditorium.  Many well know writers, screenwriters, poets, performance artists and musicians have taken part.  It's really pretty impressive. 

What is just as impressive is the number of students who take the risk of performing their writing in front of the entire school.  They read true stories, poetry, tales of tragic high school romance, staments of belief, fiction, fantasy class essays and really anything they have written that they are proud of.

This year our principal took part and nearly every department was represented by a faculty member.  I love the way that the event isn't about just the English department, it is a whole school event. Last year I told  student who wanted to perform but was afraid that if they would do it, I would too.  So true to my word I read the following story.  It is the true story of my Uncle Ollie and Aunt Elaine. 

 The Last Living Act of Oliver Green

It is probably best to start with the fact that Oliver Green is not my uncle. He and I are not related in any way by blood.  In fact I only really knew him for the last 14 years of his 91 year life.  

Ollie was the best friend of my wife’s grandfather.  They had been friends for years.  Ollie and his wife Elaine met and married at the same time my wife’s grandparents did.  They bought houses next to each other and looked forward to starting families.  My wife’s grandparents quickly had 4 children.  Elaine and Ollie did not.  They came to find out that Elaine could not have children and the family they dreamed about and planned for was not to be.   

They were both adopted by my wife’s family and became Uncle Ollie and Aunt Elaine.  The two of them watched their adopted nieces and nephews grow up attending every birthday, recital and play.  They attended every wedding, baptism and first communion.  When those children grew up and had their own children, Uncle Ollie and Aunt Elaine became their aunt and uncle too.  When I met my wife they became mine. 

I should probably also tell you that by the time I met him, Ollie had begun to experience periods of dementia that turned him from a lively, vibrant man into something much more distant and removed.  It was common for Ollie to experience hours long episodes of confusion.  For this reason, I listened intensely when he was himself and sharing his stories. His condition gave his words a fleeting quality, as though if you didn’t listen and hold on to each word, it word be lost to the abyss that could be minutes or seconds away.   I also listened to Ollie because he spoke to me with such kindness.  As a 19 year old interloper at a family Christmas party where I was not yet family, Ollie welcomed me and took me under his wing in a way that took away my stage fright but made me feel that I belonged.  This was just one of the many kindnesses that he showed me. On the way home that night my wife explained to me how Ollie was, or more specifically was not related, but also no matter what the genome said, he was her Uncle.

By the time I was really a part of this family, Ollie was gone more than not.  He would spend entire days without a period of wakefulness.  This was devastating to Elaine who watched the man that she loved and shared so much with just drift away.  Though he was always with her, she was very often alone. 

I would often sit with him hoping that he might show up and be fully himself.  Occasionally I would be rewarded and get a glimpse of the real man that lived in some dark recess of his mind. With time this became less and less common and eventually I just stopped waiting.  It would still sit with him, but I had lost the realistic expectation that he would arrive at any moment. 

The last time I saw him emerge from the fog was at a family party one summer.  He was sitting in the house with others around him when suddenly he engaged in the conversation as if it was a common occurrence.  He was warm and glowing and the room quickly filled as people spread the word about what was happening.  He shared stories of vacations 60 years past in vivid detail.  He filled the room with laughter.  He shined.  I listened trying to drink it all in.  The whole thing lasted for more than half an hour, just long enough for everyone to forget that he would soon be going away.  Then the haze fitfully descended and slowly enveloped him again.  First he searched for a word, then a name, then he stopped mid sentence and he was gone. It may not have been his last visit, but it was the last for me. 

Several years later the phone rang and despite my sorrow, I was not really surprised to find out that Ollie had died.  I had been resigned to it. In many ways he was already gone.  My goal for the funeral was to tell Elaine just how much I admired Ollie for the simple kindnesses that he had always shown me.  The time for that never came.  It was never right. So I never did. 

Later on as I was sitting talking one of his niece I heard the story of his final moments of life.

Have you ever wondered what your last moments will be like? I have often pondered what I would do with my last breath if it ever came down to it.  Would I say something deep and philosophically meaningful? What would I say to my wife? Would I leave a lesson for my kids? Would I be able to tell them the secret to a happy life?  Could I say something that would demonstrate how I feel and what they mean to me? Or would I be too overwhelmed and concerned about my own fate to worry about any of that?  Regardless, I know that I will not be able to beat what my Uncle Ollie did. 

As he lay there in his hospital bed, his family of nieces and nephews came to say their goodbyes.  He lay there surrounded by them but as usual, far away.  Then as the situation grew more dire. His wife moved in close to say a final goodbye to her friend, husband and partner of 52 years.  She leaned over and spoke to him softly and as she finished talking and kissed his forhead, he opened his eyes and smiled a wide smile.  His face and eyes had a focus and clarity that said “I am here now, I am with you.”  He didn’t say anything, he just looked at her and smiled for a while. Then he beckoned her closer, reached up with his hand, placed it on her side. The was silent as she leaned in to hear the words he was struggling to get out.  Finally he said “Tickle, tickle, tickle.” Then Elaine and the room erupted in shocked tear filled laughter.  When the laughter subsided he smiled and said, “there, that’s better, much better.” Then he leaned back, and though the smile stayed on his face, his eyes grew gray and he faded away for the last time. 

More than just being my Uncle, Ollie is my hero for giving, with his last breath, such a moment of joy to so many people and for giving such an eloquent message to his wife of how he wanted her to go on. He is my hero because in his final moment of life when he was channeling the last energy that was his to give he chose such an elegant act love.  I can only hope someday when the time comes that I am strong enough and that my mind is clear enough to give such a gift to those that I love.   

You Have to Own Your Growth!!!

You have to drive your own PD, no one else can do it.

I had decided on the title of this blog during the ride to school this morning. Then while I was about half way through writing it I was distracted by the fact that tonight’s #edchat was discussing similar ideas.  I took away a few great ideas as I always do but I became increasingly frustrated by some of the participants referring to professional development as something that needs to be imposed and requires mandates. Mandates?

In my classroom I have long abandoned the idea that I can force knowledge on my students.  They have to embrace knowledge and they have to want to learn.  I foster learning by making the content meaningful, connecting it to the realities of their lives and offering them choices within the classroom.  They need to own their learning.

Regardless of the reasons for it, schools do not often offer the same choices and opportunities for teachers.  It is my experience that PD is often generically crafted to meet the general needs of the staff, more like hints, and suggestions. If I were to make a list of the most meaningful moments of growth in my career I can’t honestly include one school sponsored initiative among them.  

When I came to my current school, I attended a four year long New Teacher Program.  It was geared toward helping 1st year teachers be successful and become effective.  I really think it is an effective way to get teachers started.  But for me it wasn’t exactly what I needed.  I was 13 years into my career.  Yet as time went on I found that the teachers were talented and they asked very introspective questions.  Their thoughts offered me a lens through which I could evaluate myself.  It was a real opportunity to grow, just not in the way the school had intended.

If you want to be an effective teacher you cannot rely on the school to make it so and provide you with the magic answer .  You have to take charge and own your growth.  A career’s worth of school run PD will not provide you with all that you need to excel.  Define what you need in order to grow and be effective, then address those needs. 

I love teaching. It has always been my passion. My passion to grow as a teacher grew from that.  

The Accidental Manifesto

In reading other people's blogs there comes a time when people lay out all of their core beliefs.  I tried to write this piece twice.  I kept stopping.  I just never felt that I could do better than I did in the writing that I will attach below.

Several years ago I was nominated for a teaching award.  The application required several long essays about your personal philosophy of teaching.  I had applied a few times before and I was not looking forward to the work. I put it off until literally the last moment.  So on New Years Eve of 2006 I rang in the new year by writing these answers for the application.  I had intended to just get it done so that I could honestly tell the student who nominated me that I did it. 

Sometimes you capture the ideas that you are trying to put on paper in exactly the right way.  I love it when that happens.

14.    Who was your best teacher?  Why was that teacher outstanding?  How has your teaching been affected by that teacher? 

This is the fourth time that I have been nominated for a Golden Apple Award in my career.  Each time has been an honor, but each time I complete an application I finish this question last and spend more time thinking about it than all of the others combined. 

The reason for this is that I never really had a feeling of connection with a teacher.  

In the past I have shared some moments that I remember from teachers who made an impact on me.  I remember Ms. Hamblin’s kindness and I wish that I could tell her what it meant to me at the time.  I remember how Mr. Neiweem handled the day after a friend and classmate was killed in a car accident.  I wish I was able to tell him about that before he passed away last year.  I remember a lot of moments from different teachers.  But the truth is I never really had that kind of relationship with a teacher.

I know that I am likely the reason for this.  I know that I kept teachers at a distance and avoided telling them all of the reasons that I was struggling in school.  I know that I pushed aside their efforts to reach out to me mainly because I was too proud to admit that I had anything wrong or that bothered me.      

Yet I write this because it has affected me deeply.  I want to be the kind of teacher who leaves an impression with his students.  I want to be remembered for teaching them something essential, but also for teaching them about life and our changing world.  I want to teach them how to figure out the truth from all of the different and conflicting messages that they are being bombarded with.  Mostly I want to reach them.  I want to reach past their distractions.  I want to be the teacher that won’t be fooled by a well crafted outer appearance, who gets to the heart of a person and then helps them to learn about the world. 

 I want their heads to explode with the things that I teach them about the world and how it works while showing them how to have a better life.  I want them to have my lesson on their minds hours after class is over.  I want to celebrate with them when they succeed and I want to help them when they hurt.

In this way, my teaching has been affected by what I didn’t have.  I have tried to become the teacher I wish I had. 

14. Part II- What are the most important competencies for the children you teach to achieve?  How do you help your students master them?  Paint us a picture in words of what goes on in your classroom. 

A student who walks out of my class is going to be mulling over a burning question, a question that compels them to seek out information for themselves and learn.  Then they need to think independently and critically about what they learn.  That is essentially what all education is about.  I teach them how to gather information and reflect upon it. 

All other competencies they may need are a subset of this goal.  If they can’t read or lack another essential skill, it prevents them from gathering information.  If they are distracted, it prevents them from gathering information.  If they have a learning disability, prevents them from gathering information.  If they are bored, it prevents them from having the desire to gather information in the first place. 

I could easily list a thousand skills that I have found my students in need of.  It is overwhelming to me the number of things that I need to be teaching them and giving to them and addressing with them.  So in order to simplify how I look at my work I have boiled down what I do to one simple focus:  What do they need in order to be able to learn? Then I teach them that. 

My Collaborative United States History classes are made up of Special Education students as well as regular Education students.  In these classes I have students who have behavioral disorders, emotional problems and other challenges in the same room with students who have scored in the low thirties on their ACT.   My alternative high school classes have students who are just out of rehab, some who live in their cars and others who are in their  late 30’s and 40’s.  They are so different and have such different needs that I just do whatever I can to get them past their distractions and teach them how to learn. 

If you were to come into my classroom you would see me soothing their anger, drying their tears and patting them on the back.  You would also see me teaching some how to read, giving others an idea of what else they could read to push themselves farther, or tutoring them about how to take tests.  Whatever it takes.    

But what I am really most proud of in my classroom is that if you came in you would see us laugh and joke around.  You would see us play.  You would see us sing or yell. You would see them smiling as often as possible. This is because the idea that learning is a solemn, solitary act of drudgery is ludicrous. 

I try to blow their minds every day.

          

14. Part III- Describe your planning process.  What are the critical factors you take into consideration when planning your lessons?

My planning process usually begins late at night because I am an insomniac and I stay up late into the night putting the pieces of the lesson together.  But it starts by asking myself “What do I want them to know?”  I look at the State Standards and what academic skills I want them to develop and then I fit that together with the content.  I think this is standard for most teachers, though, and is important. 

Whatever you teach has to mean something to them or you shouldn’t teach it.   

More important however is how the content and skills are presented and put into context for the students.  This is when I ask myself, “How can I make these things valid and meaningful for my students.”  The lesson has to resonate with what they know about the world and what they are experiencing today in order to take root in their minds.  I try to give the lesson an urgency in their life that will make it necessary to them.  A lesson about Chester Arthur is meaningless unless you do this.  Be honest, what do you remember about Chester Arthur?  Exactly!  But Chester Arthur was a friend of Teddy Roosevelt and both felt that the other betrayed a friendship.  Their personal fight changed America.  Add suffering the betrayal of a true friend and now the lesson has value.  They will listen for the outcome.  They will apply it to their lives because the live in the roiling world of high school friendships.  Now talking about their friendships, their lives and their families becomes the lesson and furthers our learning.  This is what I try to do every day. 

In time, my classes will start trying to guess how I am going to connect the lesson to their lives.  It is sort of a game that we play, but it is really them learning to make their own connections without me playing a hand in it.  I have gained some of the most useful information I possess by listening to the ways that they connect the information to their lives.   

At the core of teaching today is the need to know who you are teaching.  Who is in the seats in front of you?  I don’t mean their names and their faces, or even what year they are in school.  I want to know what their goals are and what keeps them up at night so that I can provide them with options and ways of achieving a solution or making their dreams real.  So a large part of planning my lessons involves gathering and then using what I have gathered.

14. Part IV- What do you see as the single greatest impediment to your influencing the development of the children in the classroom?  What do you do to overcome it?

The greatest difficulty to overcome in teaching is how effective the world is at grabbing everyone’s attention today.  Advertising is intelligent and flashy.  The media target markets to particular groups.  TV shows are racy and compelling.  The internet is teeming with exciting things to do and see.  It is all so endless.  You can’t finish it.  Cell phones, laptops and I-pods allow people to carry all of that with them where ever they go.  So when we are in class the internet, music and movies are right there in their bags and purses.  Their friends and families are within arms reach. 

In order to wrench their attention away from their lives for an hour we need to be powerful enough to compete with their I-pods and phones.  We are not just hoping that they go home, turn off the TV and do their homework.  We are hoping they turn it off in class.  We have to push ourselves to be more necessary than the media is.   We have to get their attention and show them that we are going to teach them something compelling and necessary every day. 

We can be better teachers and we can be more effective by setting the bar higher for ourselves.  We don’t just need to teach a sound lesson.  We need to market it to them.  We need to know their needs and show them how what we have is the answer to their life’s problems.  But even more so, we need to make sure that it really is the answer to their problems.  That can be hard but we can do it. 

We can teach them about the media today and how it works.  We can dissect popular culture.  Ultimately we can show them how the forces all around them effect them and play a role in their lives so that they can operate autonomously in a society hell bent on influencing them in everyway possible. 

     And it doesn’t hurt to have fun while you are doing it.

The Beginning.

I wouldn't really consider myself an avid writer, though I have a file of my writing that is getting pretty large.  I don't often refer back to it but when I do I am always amazed by what I gain from it.  I find that in writing I gain clarity from putting my thoughts on paper that I can’t get any other way. 

For the past few months I have debated whether I should start a blog or if I should just continue to write my thoughts into a word document that will be filed away.  I have historically avoided making these thoughts public. But, lately I have had a change of heart. As I have become more involved in professional development on Twitter I find that the thoughts of others and how they deal with the daily troubles of teaching are very important to me.  I first began by looking for resources, then I began to appreciate the passionate conversations about teaching with people who feel the way that I do about the job.  Recently I have started to read more blogs. 

I often find that the things that I like the best about a blog are small throw away comments that I connect with or that provide me with insight.  I have really grown as a teacher and as a person for reading and considering these essays and the people who wrote them.  It was at this point that I felt (as I did with Twitter) that it was time to start giving as much as I take. 

I hope that over time a blog will serve as a chance to reflect on what I am doing and what I have done.  The more I record what I do, the more I find that I can avoid mistakes, make meaningful lessons and then share them with others.

I am realistic about the fact that I cannot write every day.  I am a busy person, and tend to be unhappy when I am not.  Yet I like what I am doing to count and I think that in this case writing can make what I am doing count for much more.

After 17 years of teaching I have decided that in the classroom, the best that I can offer to the world is to get my students ready to learn. In class I get them ready to learn by creating an environment that rewards learning but also by teaching them the skills they need to do so.   When a student is overwhelmed by life, I get them ready to learn by showing compassion, listening and then making my lesson relevant to their lives today. (This is actually a policy of mine, if they ever challenge me about why a lesson matters to them today and I can’t give them a solid answer, the lesson is over and they get a free day. It forces them to look for the connection.)

I find now that if I want to be a really good teacher I have to do the same thing for myself.  I have to be ready to learn.  New facts, new methods, new technology, regardless of what it may be, I cannot close my mind to where the world and my students are going.  I need to be ready to help them get there.